Master Novice - Part 06

"Man, this plain goes on forever."

Hank groaned. "Eric, that's the fifth time you've said that in the past hour. I realize that complaining is your favorite hobby, but could you at least complain about something different for a while?"

"Well, excu-u-u-u-use me for living. I'm just bored, man! This is boring! Two whole weeks of boring! Nothing really interesting since we fought off the bugbears! Even hunting is boring! I..."

Sheila interrupted him. "Eric, bored or not, if you don't shut up, I'm going to sew your lips together."

Eric closed his jaw so quickly his teeth clicked. Sheila didn't make threats like that lightly. He turned away, muttering, "Well, it IS boring..."

Natasha decided to add her two cents. "If it's the monotony that bores you, that should change soon - there's a town coming over the horizon."

All eyes immediately snapped to the front. After looking hard, Diana said, "Where? I don't see anything."

Hank said, "I see... something... but I can't tell what it is. Are you sure it's a town?"

Natasha sniffed. "Of course I am! I have excellent eyesight."

Sure enough, within an hour, Hank and Diana were able to make out the town. By that time, Natasha was able to tell them that it was a small town, and it had a church of some kind. "There's a symbol of some sort on top of the tower, but it's not one I recognize."

Hank looked at her, raising his eyebrows. "Just how good are your eyes, anyway?"

Natasha smiled at him. "Me pappy were an eagle, he were, an' me mum were a hawk."

Hank chuckled. "I half-believe it, too."

They rode on in silence. Soon, they were close enough for Robert to make out the church's symbol. "I recognize it. My brotherhood teaches that it's a small religion, worshipping just a few gods. One of them is Bahamut, the platinum dragon, lord of good dragons." He paused for effect. "Another is Tiamat."

Everyone looked at Robert. He continued to study the church, and added, "There is no easy way to tell if they honor just one, or all of their gods. And there's no way to tell which one they do honor beyond participating in one of their rituals." He cleared his throat. "Considering that they have built what appears to be a standard church, I can only guess that they either honor all of their gods, or at least just the good ones."

Hank asked, "What can we expect, if the whole town shares the same beliefs?"

Robert thought for a few seconds, then said, "If they worship Bahamut, they will give us a place to sleep, and food for our journey, but will expect kindness in return. If they worship any of their other good gods, then it will be the same, but they will expect payment in currency. If they worship Tiamat... well, we all know what SHE'S like. As for their other evil gods, I don't know, but I imagine it wouldn't be too bad - most evil gods don't demand the instant death of strangers."

Sheila shuddered. "I'm not worried about MOST evil gods right now."

They entered the town, and began looking for an inn. Most of the people in the town stared openly, but seemed rather indifferent. At least they're not attacking, though Hank.

After a few minutes of unsuccessful searching, Natasha rode up to a boy that looked to be in his early teens and smiled sweetly. "My good lad, where can we find an inn? We seek refreshment and lodging for the night."

The boy gulped and said, "T-two streets down, my lady, and turn left. The Slanted Eye. Ask for Fox."

She looked in the direction indicated, then turned back to the boy. She kissed her fingertips, then leaned down and touched them to the boy's forehead. "Thank you."

The boy's face turned red and he turned and ran away. As she straightened up in her saddle, Natasha laughed. "That'll give him bragging rights for weeks to come. Pretty soon, his story will have me doing almost anything short of the two of us getting naked. 'She got down off her horse and let me cop a feel - boy, did she want me bad!'" Everyone laughed at that.

They found the inn easily enough. There was a small stable in the back, empty save for a sleepy-looking stable boy. Leaving their horses to his care, they entered the inn. A small man sat behind a desk, working over a large book that appeared to be full of financial calculations. Upon their entrance, he looked up and said, "Welcome, good folk. Will that be separate rooms for everyone?"

Eric stepped up and asked, "How much?"

The innkeeper looked over the party, and said, "Seven rooms... I can give them to you for one gold apiece, and the child stays free."

Eric shook his head and said, "Way too much... and we only need three rooms."

After a few minutes of haggling, they shook hands, each convinced he had gotten the better of the other, and the group was shown the way to their upstairs rooms, with Hank and Sheila in one room, the men in another, and the women in the third.

As the innkeeper turned to go back downstairs, Hank stopped him. "Excuse me, but is there a public bath house in town? The ladies haven't had a chance to pamper themselves in over a month."

The innkeeper sniffed and replied, "As it happens, sir, I have a public bath in this very establishment, right next to the tavern, and if you'll pardon my saying so, sir, I'd say you could all use a good bath. The price is quite reasonable, just 3 coppers each."

Not wanting to point out that 3 coppers was the normal price anywhere, Hank agreed that the price was very reasonable, thank you. As soon as the little man had disappeared down the stairs, Sheila sighed and said, "A bath sure sounds heavenly right about now. I think I'll bathe before I eat. What about you?"

Hank shook his head. "I'm hungry. I'll eat first, so I don't pollute the water before you get a chance to use it."

"Okay. I'm going to tell the other ladies - they'll probably want a bath too."

Hank, Eric, Robert and Preston sat in the tavern, letting the large meal they had just shared settle. The ladies had been in the bath for well over an hour, and Hank figured that they surely must be clean by now.

"Well, gentlemen," began Eric, "I'm starting to feel like myself again." He called over the serving girl and ordered another ale.

Robert said, "They sure are taking a long time in there."

"It's their first bath in a month, Robert," said Preston. "Give them some time to relax and enjoy it while they can."

>From the back, they heard a crash, and a man cursing. They paid it no mind, figuring a kitchen boy had dropping something. Then they heard a scream.

Eric leaped to his feet. "That was Natasha!" They ran to the baths, each cursing himself for having left his weapons upstairs.

They reached the door, and found it locked. Hank pounded on the door and yelled, "Sheila!"

>From within, there came the sounds of a struggle. Diana was shouting, and Sheila yelled, "Get in here!"

Hank rattled the doorknob, then pulled back and put his fist through the door. Unlocking it through the hole, he burst in. A massively muscled (and also very fat) man was standing in the bath, trying to get a grip on Natasha, who was struggling furiously but was unable to cast any spells since the man had one wrist held firmly. Diana was trying to pull him off and Sheila was furiously attacking as best as she could, but it became apparent that the man was so drunk he didn't even feel it. Aurora was sitting in the far side of the tub, watching wide-eyed. None of them had a stitch of clothing on.

"C'mon, baby, all I wan' ish a liddle kish and mebbe a lil feel, and mebbe sumtin' more..." Natasha kicked out, aiming for his turgid crotch, but her foot connected with his thigh instead. "Ah, c'mon now, honey, jus' a kish..."

Hank walked up to the man and grabbed his wrist. The drunk, realizing that there where suddenly other people in the room, said, "Jus' shtay outta it, bud, dis don't consher... concher... bother ya none.

Hank pried the drunk's fingers open, and Natasha scrambled free, trying to cover herself. Hank looked up at the large man and said, "Let's take this outside, shall we?"

The drunk swayed slightly, then focused on the smaller man holding onto his arm. "Leggo a' me or yer gonna get hurt." Hank didn't respond. The man bellowed in rage and swung his free hand at Hank's head.

Hank easily blocked it, then turned and threw the drunk through the wall. "I said, 'Let's take this outside,' and we're going outside." He turned to his wife and said, "You three get upstairs and lock the doors. Don't let anyone but us in." The women quickly wrapped towels around themselves and grabbed their clothes. Natasha grabbed Aurora, not bothering to wrap a towel around her, and the four of them ran out the door.

The men exited the room and found the drunk staggering to his feet. As he swayed in the hallway, he pointed at the wall next to Hank and said, "Yer unner arrest fer..."

Hank punched him in the stomach and said, "Arrest yourself. We're still not outside."

The man grabbed Hank in a bear hug and began squeezing. "Robert..." gasped Hank. "Some... help... please..."

Robert stepped forward and lightly grasped the man's wrist. Immediately the drunk's grasp on Hank slackened and he bellowed in pain. Robert shifted his grip to the webbing between the man's thumb and forefinger and squeezed, then started pushing him out into the main tavern. All of the other customers sat silent, watching with wide eyes. Robert calmly walked the naked man through the front doors and let him drop into the street.

As Hank left exited, he noticed the boy that had given them directions standing outside the door. Maybe it's a set-up, he thought. Then he shrugged. If it was, it was going wrong for the bad guys.

The drunk was standing again, rubbing his hand. "Yer all'n trouble now." Without warning, he shot his fist at Hank, who again easily blocked it.

"First lesson: never enter a lady's bath without invitation!" He punctuated the last word with a fist to the drunk's nose.

"Second lesson: never try to take a lady by force!" He punctuated this with a kick to the man's knee, and was rewarded with a loud snap. The drunk bellowed in pain and fell over.

Hank knelt next to the man, who was now sobbing in pain, and continued gently. "Third lesson: stop drinking. It's obvious that you can't handle your liquor, and being drunk tends to get people hurt."

He stood up and spotted the boy again. "What passes for law enforcement around here?"

The boy gulped, and said, "You just pounded the hell out of our sheriff."

Eric quietly said, "Oh, this is bad."

Hank sighed and continued, "Okay, how about constables or deputies or the town guard?" The boy slowly nodded. "Okay, then, here's a silver for you - go get them."

They left the sheriff lying naked on the road, the pain and the booze having combined to knock him out.

They were all crowded into one room, the door locked. All were dressed in their armor, their bedrolls packed, their weapons within easy reach.

Hank was standing the first watch. Everyone else was asleep. He thought about how he could have handled things differently, so as to avoid this awkward situation. Probably shouldn't have taken him outside.

Soon, he started to feel the effects of the day, and within minutes was asleep on his feet.

Stealthy footsteps sounded outside the door. A key was gently inserted into the lock and slowly turned. The lock clicked open, and the sound of money changing hands. The stealthy footsteps retreated down the hall.

Then the door burst open, and before anyone was fully awake, they had all been captured by the men that poured into the room.

They were roughly herded down into the tavern, where their armor was stripped from them. Their hands were bound and they were roughly searched for hidden weapons. Eric yelled out a loud "Hey!" when his boot dagger was taken, and was rewarded with a heavy blow to the head.

A gruff voice said, "The bearded one's a wizard." A gag was unceremoniously stuffed into Preston's mouth and his hands were retied behind his back. "Better blindfold him, just in case." A quick search for something suitable was conducted, resulting in a sack being placed over his head.

An enormously fat man walked in. It was apparent that he was not used to walking - he was wheezing and panting. "All right. (pant, pant) Good work (wheeze) men. Take them (pant) to the church. I'll (gasp) deal with them tomorrow." As he turned to leave, he paused and said over his shoulder, "Don't hurt them. Do NOT take advantage of the women."

The other men respond, "Yes, Holy One." The fat priest waddled out.

They were lead out into the night and turned toward the church.

Hank, Eric, Robert and Preston were in a small cell in the church's dungeon. The walls were of stone, the floor dirt covered with straw. It smelled of old excrement and mildew.

Preston had been rebound in silver manacles, and was muttering about silly superstitions. The others were no longer bound, having untied each other when they were thrown in the cell.

"Well, this is another fine mess we've gotten us into," Eric paraphrased.

Hank grimaced. "Thank you, Mr. Laurel-and-Hardy. Now, do you have any idea how to get OUT of this 'fine mess'?"

Preston said, "Try bending the bars." The others looked at him incredulously. "Seriously. All three of you working together might be able to do it."

Robert and Eric looked at Hank. He shrugged. "Might as well try it." The three of them each grabbed a pair of bars and strained, but nothing happened. Finally, they gave up. "Any other bright ideas?"

Preston examined the lock holding the door closed. After a few minutes, he said, "Hank, see if you can yank the door open."

Shaking his head doubtfully, Hank grabbed the bars of the door and gave a hard yank. The door groaned. Hank kept pulling, and the door started to bend inward. With an explosive yank, Hank ripped the door open, completely destroying the lock.

Eric shook his head. "If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn't've believed it."

Hank rubbed his arms - that yank had HURT. "Let's see if we can find the women and get our stuff."

They exited the cell, keeping an eye out for guards. There appeared to be none, so they crept forward. As they neared a corner, they heard low voices and footsteps coming their way. They ducked into a dark cell with no door. They waited, none even daring to breathe.

Sheila rounded the corner, Diana and Aurora in tow.

"Sheila! Diana! How did you escape? Where's Natasha?" Hank hugged his wife fiercely.

Sheila smiled as she hugged her husband. "I picked the lock. We were held in a room a few floors up." She turned serious. "Natasha wasn't held with us - they took her away when they put is in the room."

At that moment, a loud explosion rocked the building. Hank looked at Preston and asked, "Natasha?"

Preston nodded. "Probably."

They found her a few floors up, with a large number of priests lying dead around her. Hank could hardly believe his eyes. "Natasha - you did all this?" She just nodded, adjusting the straps of her dress. "But... why...?"

She whirled on him, eyes flashing dangerously. "Because they tried to finish what that slob of a sheriff started. And I don't play those games." She looked down at one of the smoking bodies, then turned it over with her foot. "I decided to punish them - teach them a lesson they'd never forget." She sighed. "But I let my anger get out of control, and accidentally killed them."

Eric was incredulous. "You ACCIDENTALLY killed two dozen priests?"

She shrugged. "After I knocked out the first one, they attacked me. A single fireball was easier and more efficient than trying to fight them all, or using a weaker spell."

Diana nodded. "Efficient, yes. It makes sense. I know some assassins that would have suggested the same thing."

Natasha stiffened. "I resent that comparison."

Eric broke in. "Y'know, folks, it would sure be fun to stick around here and call each other names, but I can hear someone coming this way rather quickly, and seeing as how we don't know where our gear is, I suggest we all shut up and get moving."

They exited the room, only to walk straight into the fat priest. Before anyone could react, the priest turned and ran screaming up the corridor.

The group stood there for a second, then Eric yelled, "The fat one! He'll know where our stuff is! Come on!" He took off running after the priest, who had disappeared around a corner. He rounded the corner, the rest of the party close behind, and everyone else heard a loud thud, followed by Eric dazedly stumbling back around the corner, blood streaming from his nose.

Hank stopped short. "Eric! What happened?"

Eric shook his head, then grinned sheepishly. "He closed the door."

The head priest was having a bad day. First, he had discovered signs that his goddess would be sending down her personal representative. Then some damn fool party of adventurers had to go and beat up his sheriff. Now those same adventurers were outside his chambers, and from the sound of things, they were about to rip the door off its hinges.

Damn me for an idiot, he thought, as he quickly drew out the symbols for his protective circle. Never thought I'd use this side of the circle in my own chambers, he thought ruefully. He finished drawing and started the incantation. He finished right as the door broke off open.

The loudmouth came bounding into the room, blood streaming from his nose. Well, thought the priest with a little smile, that explains the first noise. The fool ran right up to the circle of protection and slammed into the magical barrier. The priest's smile grew wider as the idiot dropped to the floor unconscious.

Then he turned to face the rest of them.

Preston said, "Hold it! He's in a circle of protection of some sort." Inside the circle, the priest regarded them warily. Preston examined the circle briefly, then announced, "It appears to be a circle of protection from good." He started casting a spell.

Hank stepped up to the circle and said, "Look, we don't want any more trouble - we just want our stuff, and we'll leave."

The priest laughed, the rolls of fat shaking. "You expect me to believe you? What proof do I have that you won't kill me?"

Hank pointed at the circle. "This is protection from good, right? By definition, a good person's word is proof enough."

Preston finished casting his spell of know alignment. It was a modified one he had created - the mages here apparently had an overwhelming urge to know how the subjects felt about law and order, whereas Preston didn't care; he just wanted to know if they were good guys.

He looked at Hank, to make sure the spell was functioning correctly. It was - in his eyes, Hank glowed brightly. So did Robert, who was treating Eric, who also glowed. All of his friends did, in fact. Then he noticed Aurora of to the side. She glowed brighter than all the rest of the group. Interesting, he thought.

Turning his attention back to the circle, he was able to see the barrier now, a dark shimmering curtain. Inside, the priest showed a dark gray color - he was evil, all right, though his evil was mostly focused on himself - things such as greed and envy.

He reported, "Hank - this isn't one of the good guys."

Hank nodded. "I think that's pretty obvious, Preston, but thanks."

Natasha spoke up from where she was studying the circle. "Hey, take a look at this." He looked at her, and thought that his glasses had gotten a smudge on them. He took them off, but the smudge remained. He realized that his spell was still in effect.

The darkness was so complete he couldn't see her.

Sheila knelt and looked at the symbol Natasha was pointing at. It looked like the letter "S" with the top part branching off into five separate tails. That looks awfully familiar, she thought. Then she recognized it. She blinked, the realization washing over her like ice.

Hank saw the look on her face and asked, "Sheila? What is it?" She looked at him and opened her mouth, but no sound came out. He saw complete fear in her eyes. "What?" She shook her head and pointed at the symbol the Natasha was studying. He bent over to look at it. As soon as he realized what it was, he snapped upright.

Now everyone was looking at the two of them. Diana said, "What is it? What's wrong?"

He calmed himself, then look her in the eye. "Tiamat. This town worships Tiamat."